A most important thing I learned from my Dog, Beau

Several years ago we got a brand new puppy.  He is a Bijon Friese we named him Beau.  At around 8 months we hired a trainer to come help us train him.  One of the first things she did was to put a treat in front of him and tel him to wait.  Waiving her hand in front of his face.  Beau immediately stopped his move toward the treat and watched her.  After a bit of time she said "OK" and Beau happily had  the treat. 

I said: "Well he is not much of an alpha dog.  Because he did not go for it.  He did not push for what he wanted".  The trainer responded: "Oh yes he is an alpha dog.  He simply wasn't worried about it, because he knows he is going to eat". 

That thought begin to work on me.  I had been an entrepreneur for years.  And had made businesses work and even failed in a business.  and always worry or fear was a large driver in my life.  I knew how to use these emotions to drive me.

After a few days, I formulated the question:  "How would I be if it truly knew I was going to eat?"    I found with some focus on that question the answers were rather simple.  I would carry myself with confidence (usually did that). I would not "have to have" every business or client that came a long.  And It would feel more free.  So I started carrying myself that way.  I moved away from having to have a contract for services early on in the relationship.  Instead I moved to the point that I would earn the business at each step and when the time was clear I as doing an excellent job, I would get the signed agreement.  Funny thing, the requests for discounts went away.  The resistance from clients went away.  I lost virtually no one (less than 1%).  In the first year after that my income almost doubled, and I was much more comfortable in my world and in my self.  I know I am going to eat.  That is to say, I know I will have love in my life, respect in my life, that I will do my work in an excellent manner and provide outstanding results and I will eat!

In business, the ability to calmly release a client seemed to make them more confident in using me.  In relationship with my wife, I became more confident of our love, and our relationship grew even deeper.  In relationship to my self was the most profound change.  I became comfortable with even my mistakes, even my failures.  I know I am going to eat.  The knowing is wonderful.   Then even in my religious beliefs.  I moved from hoping God was there, to knowing God is always there, and deeply feeling comfort in that knowledge.  Risk no longer felt like risk, but truly felt like opportunity.  I simply know I am going to eat.

How would you live if you "knew you are going to eat?"   In the book Man's search for meaning Frankl says that we have one power that can not be taken from us.  That is the power of choosing how we will respond to what ever happens to us.  Certainly he had times he was hungry, but somewhere he found meaning, and understood he would indeed eat.   In my coaching much of what I do, is help others come to "know they are going to eat", "know the will have love" "know they will have peace" "know they will have success" and most importantly "know that they are enough". 

               Jack Stanley B.C.C.