That Thing That Happened

Several years ago, I was working for a company in sales.  My son was about 5 years old.   I had won a watch in a sales contest.  It was bright blue and a good watch but did not need.  My son liked it so I gave it to him.   The band did not fit his wrist it was way too loose.  He was heading to the bathroom, with the band very loose on his wrist, and I suggested that he take the watch off before he went to the toilet.   So he did.  I recall doing that only a couple of times.   What I did not realize is the thing I suggested became a "have to". 

Some years later he was 17 and we were back packing in Tennessee.  We had been out for a couple of days and came upon. a real bathroom on a trail.  My son handed me his watch and said can you hold this while I go to the bathroom.  I said sure.

While I waited I was thinking about why he needed his watch off to go to the bathroom.  When he exited the bathroom, I asked him why he took his watch off.  He explained I had taught him to.  It took me a minute to recall the source. The watch that was too big for his wrist when he was 5.  He had carried that habit forward for 13 years unnecessarily. 

I often have clients who are stuck.   " I just can't make more than 80k.  Everytime I get there something happens."  Or "no good man/woman will ever accept me" or "no matter what I do, I can not find real love".  "When I was a child my mom said I was a mean little girl.  I have been mean ever since" . And many more.  Things that happened that turned to beliefs that we hold on to.  Some are benign like the watch some were much more limiting. 

Our subconscious holds these things and works to protect up from harm.  In the protection we find limitations that should never be there.  Coaching is about releasing the limitations.